In Another Life
by Leafy365
Summary: Tsuna's a good student, a decent athlete, and an excellent friend. His twin brother, not so much. Still, the bond between brothers is as strong as ever, at least until the Mafia knocks at their door. Twin fic, undecided pairings at the moment.
1. Chapter 1

In Another Life

Summary: Tsuna's a good student, a decent athlete, and an excellent friend. His twin brother, not so much. Where Tsuna is respected and admired, Ietsugu faces only scorn and condescension. Where Tsuna forgives and forgets, Ietsugu holds on tightly to his grudges. Where Tsuna is praised and sought after, Ietsugu is left behind in the dust. But Tsuna is also the best brother in the world and has never once looked down on his twin. Despite Ietsugu's reluctance and apathy, Tsuna has never given up on getting his brother to understand algebra or earn a passing grade in history. Their bond remains strong against all the odds. But when the Mafia comes knocking at their door, things will never be the same again. Twin fic, undecided pairings at the moment.

* * *

**A/N: **One of the most popular tropes in the KHR fandom is "Tsuna has a twin, who is usually evil", which I love. And it's always Tsuna breaking out of his shell to proclaim himself the rightful Decimo in face of the violent, malicious brother.

Of course, there are also twists on this trope, in which Tsuna's twin is kind and decent, but it's a much rarer phenomenon. So it got me thinking. How would Tsuna change if his twin was even more "dame" than Tsuna himself?

Would Tsuna really let the bullies pick on his twin? Highly unlikely, in my opinion. Canon's shown that Tsuna's at his strongest when he has something to protect. Now that he has someone to protect, there's no way Tsuna would be able to accept his own uselessness. I believe part of his poor reputation was due to the fact that Tsuna was pretty apathetic and indifferent; he wasn't very angry or resentful, but he didn't have a burning desire to prove everyone wrong either.

But if it's for one of his loved ones, Tsuna would move heaven and earth and face down space aliens without wavering. So if Tsuna's twin needs protection, Tsuna would do everything he could to provide that protection. And as kids, the only way to shield against cruel remarks and teasing is to improve one's social capital. Tsuna would force himself to improve in everything so that he could stand up to his brother's bullies and make them listen to him.

And that changes a lot of things, because Tsuna would no longer be the Dame-Tsuna that Reborn would have expected as his second student.

And that's how this fic was spawned.

* * *

In another life, Sawada Tsunayoshi could have been known as "Dame-Tsuna", the weak, useless, pitiful boy who failed at everything he did, a bully's wet dream, a favored scapegoat.

He'd have grown up eventually. How could he not, when he was dragged kicking and screaming towards adulthood and responsibility and an unavoidable destiny by a fedora wearing, coffee drinking baby who claimed to be the world's greatest hitman?

He'd have done what was necessary to save his family and the world, no matter how much he hated it. He'd have made the hard decisions, the ones no one else could or would make, because he was the Boss. He'd have been admired by those who once scorned him, praised by those who initially disregarded him, worshiped by those who once tried to kill him.

But he'd have still felt so alone. Because deep down, he was still the cowering, pathetic, worthless child that he'd always been. Ten years of bullying, spiteful remarks, and neglect left their toll on a person, and not even someone like Reborn could erase that taint away completely.

And even as he accepted the mantle of Vongola Decimo, he would have forever been reluctant to let the weight of his duties settle upon his frail shoulders. Everyone would look up to him and he could never falter because no one remembered Dame-Tsuna anymore, even if that's who he still was, buried deep beneath the layers of experience and training and sophistication.

He'd have been miserable and no one would have ever known.

Because it would have been too little too late for the Mafia to come bursting into a lonely boy's life and change it for the better.

But fortunately for Tsuna, in this life there was one major difference.

You see, in another life, Tsuna had never been motivated to improve himself until he had people gunning after him and friends and family to protect. Tsuna was never the kind of person to get better for his own sake; it had to be on behalf of someone else or nothing would have made the boy get his lazy bum off the couch.

In this life, Tsuna had someone to protect from the very beginning: his twin brother.

* * *

Nana loved her sons dearly but occasionally she couldn't help but guiltily wish that Ietsugu was a bit more like his older twin.

"Su-kun," Nana began. "I just received another phone call from the principle of your school. It seems that you've missed several days of classes this month!"

"Ietsugu-nii?" Tsuna turned to look at his brother. "You told me you were going to stop skipping school!"

Two pairs of teary brown eyes stared at Ietsugu, who fidgeted under the collective disappointment and sad, puppy eyed looks.

"Sorry," he mumbled, playing idly with the remaining peas on his plate.

He hated it when he made his mother and brother sad, but school was just so hard and boring and his latest manga had been calling his name. It's not like he knew what the sensei was droning on and on about, anyway. If he really needed to know this stuff, he could just ask Tsuna.

"Oh, Ietsugu-kun, you can't go through life like this!" Nana said.

Ietsugu rolled his eyes discretely as his airheaded mother went off on another one of her mild lectures about "living life to the fullest", which always somehow devolved into sighing dreamily into the distance about their deadbeat father.

"-getting a home tutor!" Nana finished with a brilliant smile.

"Home tutor?" Ietsugu repeated blankly. He looked over at his brother, who was staring thoughtfully at the flyer that Nana had apparently found in their mailbox today.

"Hmm, this flyer seems a little weird," Tsuna started, but quickly backtracked at their mother's pout. "But if Kaa-san thinks it's okay, then I'm okay with it too! And I could use a tutor for English…"

"Oh, but Tsu-kun doesn't need a tutor," Nana chirped. "Your grades are in the top 10% of your class! This tutor is for Su-kun! I'm not saying you have to be as smart and successful as your brother, but your grades could use some improvement. And this home tutor promises to make you into the greatest leader of your generation! And there's no fee as well; he simply requests room and board for the duration of his tutoring!"

Ietsugu sighed in frustration. There went his dull, peaceful life. It was no use dissuading their mother when she had her heart set on something; not even Tsuna, who was the master of bulldozing his way over objections with a polite manner and heart-stopping smile, could do anything.

It was much easier to just humor her and get it over with so he could go back to his manga reading and spending what little time Tsuna had to spare playing video games with his twin.

"Kaa-san, Ietsugu-nii is smart too! He just needs the right motivation to push him," Tsuna protested.

Ietsugu slipped away from the dinner table before Tsuna began the oft-repeated speech on "Why Ietsugu-nii is awesome!".

It was a thing Tsuna did, standing up for Ietsugu against the bullies, the teachers, his own friends, even against their mother. Ietsugu had just shrugged helplessly when whispers of "Dame-Sugu" began spreading a few years ago, but Tsuna had gone still and calm and very, very quiet. A few weeks later, bullies no longer came within 100 meters of him, and more than once he'd spotted Tsuna handing a bento to the Demon Prefect.

When their mother had slipped and called Ietsugu useless, Ietsugu had blinked and easily pushed down the twinge of hurt, but Tsuna had burst into tears and wouldn't stop pouting at Nana for the next month or so, even if she had apologized almost immediately, appalled at herself.

Tsuna had always ever been Ietsugu's shield against everyone else, and the only person who seemed to believe in Ietsugu wholeheartedly.

Ietsugu loved his brother more than anything in the world, but he had a hard time understanding Tsuna. He knew, shamefully, that if the twins had been in opposite positions, if Ietsugu was the popular one and Tsuna was the loser, then Ietsugu wouldn't ever be even half as good a brother to Tsuna as Tsuna was to him.

Tsuna had never bowed to peer pressure, practically snarling when their classmates would encourage him to stop associating with his "loser brother". Some learned quickly enough not to say anything bad about Ietsugu in Tsuna's presence, but most of the others were either incredibly dense or highly persistent.

"You're my brother. If my 'friends' can't accept that, then they weren't my friends in the first place. Besides, I don't want to be friends with the kind of person who judges others based on stupid stuff!" Tsuna proclaimed when Ietsugu once broached the subject.

Tsuna had a protective streak and a steel core of loyalty that dumfounded Ietsugu even as it left him in awe. He was just the useless spare and Tsuna was the bright, shining star, and he had long gotten used to it.

Ietsugu knew he was a horrible brother to feel a simmering resentment and kernel of jealousy at Tsuna the favored twin, the popular brother, when Tsuna would never, ever turn his back on him. But he was no saint; it was a hard life, living in his twin's shadow, even if he made no move to walk out of it despite countless opportunities.

"Don't worry so much about the tutor, Su-nii," Tsuna said, clapping a hand on his shoulder.

His brother's sudden presence startled him out of his darker thoughts, and any lingering envy dissipated in the face of his brother's calming, accepting presence.

He smiled to himself as they made their way up the stairs to his room, tuning out Tsuna's chatter about how the tutor was such a good idea, how he'd be so helpful, and simply basked in his twin's unconditional support.

* * *

**Ending notes: **Following the naming scheme of the Sawada family, Ietsugu is named after the seventh shogun of the Tokugawa Dynasty. He was three when he became the ruler and six when he died.

Also, this did not go the way I wanted it to go. Ietsugu just sort of took over the fic and the POV and wouldn't leave.

Fair warning, I have no idea where this fic is headed. Probably somewhere crazy. I dunno.


	2. Chapter 2

**In Another Life**

Chapter Summary: The twins unknowingly enjoy their last day of peace and normality before their lives are thrown into the chaos of Mafia related, logic-defying shenanigans and insane assassins.

* * *

"Su-nii! Wake up! Su-nii, we're going to be late for school! Please don't make us late for school again!" Tsuna said begged, poking and prodding at his much lazier twin.

Ietsugu simply groaned at the annoying sound that wouldn't let him bury himself back into his blankets. He turned onto his stomach and tried to muffle the voice by putting a pillow over his head.

"Don't make me get out the hose, Ietsugu," Tsuna warned, finally exasperated when his brother continued to sleep.

All this ominous threat got was a grunt from his blanket burrito twin.

Now, Tsuna could easily have left Ietsugu to his blissful sleep and gone to school by himself, but Ietsugu really couldn't afford yet another tardy mark on his attendance record. And letting Ietsugu walk to school alone was a recipe for disaster.

Ietsugu was clumsy enough that it wasn't all that uncommon for him to give himself a broken bone without his brother there. He was also a favorite target of bullies and ripe for the picking if Tsuna wasn't by his side to ward off those annoyances.

The few times that Tsuna had no choice but to leave early for his school commitments, Ietsugu always ended up with cuts and bruises, at the very least.

Apparently, the path to school was very treacherous. Potholes, yappy dogs, pickpockets and thugs were only some of the milder obstacles Ietsugu faced on a solo trek from the Sawada home to Namimori Middle School.

So being the overprotective twin that he was, Tsuna made a new rule for their household: younger brothers are not allowed to walk to school by themselves.

This meant that on the days when Tsuna had to leave early in the morning, whether for kendo practice or his Disciplinary Committee responsibilities, Ietsugu also had to wake up early.

Now, most days it wasn't much of an issue. Just the mere thought of facing Tsuna's disappointed face was enough to get Ietsugu out of his comfortable, warm bed, into the shower, downstairs for a quick breakfast, and out the door before he was even fully awake.

However, there were always the days when Ietsugu's lack of motivation overcame even his affection for his brother.

Tsuna was generally the nicest, kindest, gentleset, most generous person Ietsugu knew, but when Tsuna's legendary patience ran out, well, it wasn't pretty. Anyone who knew Tsuna well enough had also been unfortunate enough to become a victim of his temper at least once.

Tsuna despised being late. Being late meant being attacked by an irate boy wielding steel tonfas and a distinct lack of mercy. And trying to avoid Hibari's attacks would only mean that the Demon Prefect of Namimori Middle School would direct his attention to Ietsugu instead, which was completely unacceptable. Ietsugu could barely dodge a blow without giving himself one, and Tsuna would have to step in anyway and fight off Hibari.

Tsuna hated going through the school day with bruises and cuts, blood on his torn uniform, and the suffocating sympathy of the rest of the students. Plus, Ietsugu would look at him with those guilty, sad eyes until Tsuna caved and gave him half of his own bento.

"Su-nii! If you don't get up in the next three minutes, I _will_ use the hose," Tsuna threatened at the pile of blankets.

Ietsugu… snored.

_He fell asleep?!_ Tsuna's eye began twitching. _Fine. You asked for it, otouto!_

* * *

Downstairs, Nana hummed as she wrapped up the lunch bentos for her sons.

"EARRRGGGGGG!" This was followed by a series of thumps, crashes, and another howl.

"HIEEE!"

Nana giggled to herself. "My, my! Tsu-kun and Su-kun are so energetic today!"

* * *

"You're so lucky that Hibari-san is actually in a good mood today. Otherwise, you'd have to drag my unconscious body home," Tsuna grumbled, slumping next to his twin on the bench. "He didn't even follow up on his first attack, just grunted at me to make him more hamburger steak and accompany him on his patrols this week."

Ietsugu glanced over his brother, who looked only slightly ruffled and mostly exasperated. No visible cuts or bruises, no blood, no sitting up in that way that meant sore ribs. He deflated in relief.

"I can't believe you used the hose on me, Tsuna-nii," Ietsugu complained. He had not appreciated the ice cold water blasting his face and drenching his bed. He also had not appreciated being shoved into the shower, still fully clothed, only to be met with more cold water.

Tsuna could be very creative when he was trying to convince him to do something.

Once, when they were much younger and Ietsugu had been struggling with the multiplication table and had wanted to give up, Tsuna had somehow convinced their mother to withhold all desserts from him until he could successfully recite up to 6 times 6. It was a cruel and unusual punishment, since Tsuna ate his slice of pie in front of him as he was forced to memorize a bunch of numbers that made little sense.

"And I can't believe I used the hose on you, almost died, and we were _still_ late," Tsuna retorted.

Ietsugu had tried to retaliate but ended up almost knocking his twin out the window. He opened his mouth to respond but was quickly interrupted as students began pouring into the halls and Tsuna stood up to greet them.

"Hey, it's Sawada!"

"Hello, Tsuna-kun!" a girl giggled and fluttered her eyelashes at Ietsugu's continually oblivious-to-romance brother.

"T-tsu-tsuna-s-sama, pl-please give t-this t-to Hi-hibar-ri-s-s-sama," stuttered one student. She pushed a bento into Tsuna's arms and quickly fled.

"Hey, Tsuna, wanna come over after school today? I have that new video game we were talking about last week."

"Tsuna-kun! You were so cool at last week's kendo match!"

The compliments and requests and greetings went on and one, but Tsuna received each one gracefully and politely. Only the occasional jeer against Ietsugu, like "Man, you're so much cooler than your brother!" was treated with disdain and a hard glare.

Tsuna was so nice and gentle most of the time that people tended to forget that this was the same twin who beat up ten upperclassmen for harassing his clumsy, useless twin brother.

Ietsugu slumped back down on the bench, trying to make himself smaller in face of the crowds. His previously lighthearted mood turned sour as Tsuna faced his bevy of admirers

Ietsugu barely remembered the days when Tsuna had been the less popular twin.

When Tsuna had been bullied for carrying around his stuffed lion with him to the park, he'd taken it and simply brushed the dirt off his Shishi. Ietsugu had heard the other kids laughing at his slightly older brother, calling him a baby and a mama's boy. And he'd done nothing to defend him, too afraid of catching their attention and scorn.

When the twins started school and Ietsugu had been teased because he stuttered and struggled to read out loud, or tripped and fell during recess, he'd cried and sniveled until suddenly, those bullies no longer paid attention to him. It had been meek little Tsuna who stood up to the older boys, glaring them down with a determination and resolve that suddenly made him seem powerful and intimidating.

With the bullies slinking away with their tails between their legs, Tsuna had turned his attention to Ietsugu's scrape, which he had received for trying to run away from the other kids. He plastered a bandage on it and followed up with a kiss, declaring, "All better now!".

It was the first of what would become routine: Ietsugu would be bullied or teased for his clumsiness or lack of academic prowess and Tsuna would suddenly be there, his presence a shield against those hurtful remarks. It was also the first time Ietsugu realized that Tsuna was a good person and the best brother ever. Even at the age of three, Ietsugu understood enough to feel ashamed at how horribly he had been treating his brother since they had started attending school.

Tsuna had never said anything to their mother about his twin's sudden hostility, spurred on by peer pressure and the cruelty of young children, nor had he ever fought back. They had gone from best friends to bully and victim within the span of a week.

Ietsugu still recalled that curdling disgust that this fluffy haired boy could be his older twin. And then their roles reversed, when Ietsugu discovered that school was hard and frustrating, and the teacher was much too impatient to help him.

Tsuna had struggled with some of the work as well, but it had been Ietsugu who was singled out as the talentless loser who couldn't even tie his own shoelaces, much less learn to write.

And then Tsuna had seen some of their classmates pushing Ietsugu into the mud, about to stomp on his stomach.

"You're so stupid, I bet your brother doesn't even love you!"

"Yeah, Tsuna is nice to everyone! You're just a meanie who can't even count! Loser!"

"Loser, loser, loser!" the bullies chanted.

Nice, shy, sweet Tsuna suddenly transformed into an enraged dragon, pushed the boys off his brother and gave them a scolding that even their mothers had trouble matching.

That day, something changed in Tsuna and he turned from the shy, timid child who clung to his brother's hand into a gentle but confident boy who was always Ietsugu's protector.

"Good morning, Tsuna-kun!" Kyoko's happy voice dragged Ietsugu out of his thoughts.

"Good morning to you, Kyoko-chan," Tsuna smiled back.

Ietsugu waited for his greeting, blushing a little at the thought of talking to his crush, but Sasagawa Kyoko simply continued to chatter away to his brother, as if Ietsugu wasn't important enough to even be noticed.

"Must you always stand here in the mornings?" a slightly bossy voice cut in. "I hate all these monkeys crowding around me. Ugh, they're so loud and whiney!"

"Haha, you almost reminded me of Hibari for a moment there, Hana-chan," Tsuna teased.

Ietsugu watched as Tsuna talked with his friends, none of whom seemed to realize that he was sitting right behind them.

"Yo, Tsuna!" the captain of the Kendo Club called out in passing. "No practice today, Coach said. Doesn't mean you can slack off, though!"

"Don't worry, Mochida-sempai! We can do double drills tomorrow!" Tsuna called back.

Ietsugu scowled when Mochida actually sighed sappily at Kyoko, but lowered his eyes when the Kendo captain turned to glare at him. Tsuna didn't seem to notice, happily laughing with his friends.

He was used to it, feeling left out, but it never failed to remind him that if Tsuna ever decided his useless twin was more trouble than he was worth, Ietsugu would be completely alone in the world. It was only because of Tsuna that Ietsugu had a reprieve against the unfriendly attentions of other students.

Tsuna Tsuna Tsuna. Ietsugu was grateful for Tsuna but sometimes he had to remind himself that it was not pity that motivated Tsuna, but love. So Ietsugu did his best to destroy every twinge of envy or resentment when Tsuna was once again praised for the same thing that Ietsugu was criticized for.

Because without Tsuna, Ietsugu would have absolutely nothing, and that was a scary thought.

* * *

"Sawada!" the teacher, a Fujimoto-sensei, barked at Ietsugu, startling him from his intense contemplation of the back of his eyelids.

"You might actually pass a class for once if you stopped sleeping all the time," Fujimoto-sensei said haughtily and dropped his last test on his desk.

Ietsugu ignored the sniggers from his classmates with a practiced ease and simply shrugged at the red, accusing 30% scrawled on top of the paper.

It was unfortunate that he and Tsuna had separate class schedules, but twins were seldom kept together in the same group.

Tsuna had pouted for an entire day when he found out that they wouldn't be sharing classes in their first year of middle school. He'd also tried, and failed, to convince the principal to keep them together. Tsuna was persistent, though. He wouldn't give up, even when their mother had said that the twins needed to grow as individuals.

"How can I protect Su-nii if we're in different classes?" Tsuna cried.

"I can handle myself for a few hours, nii-san," Ietsugu said, when Nana gave him a look that said _Make your brother feel better_.

"Are you sure? I can-"

"It's fine, Tsuna-nii. Really," Ietsugu insisted. Inwardly, he couldn't help but agree that Tsuna needed to be in the same class as him.

He'd already experienced years of hell in elementary school. Struggling to master simple concepts had not endeared him to anyone, including their teacher. Tsuna had even approached the sensei for help but had been kindly, firmly directed to focus on himself instead of his brother.

Tsuna was stubborn, though. He had eventually sped ahead far enough in the curriculum that he could teach Ietsugu on the sly. It helped a little, but Ietsugu was still more than often lost and confused.

Tsuna put in so much effort learning the material in his attempts to teach it to Ietsugu successfully that his grades soon began to stand out, and the teachers began praising him for his intelligence.

Ietsugu had been annoyed, of course, even if he tried to hide it from his unusually perceptive twin, but for the most part, he was just glad that Tsuna never gave up on him, even when everyone else had.

"I can't believe anyone could actually fail such an easy test," drawled one particularly cruel student.

"I know, right? Only a dumb loser would be able to do that."

The class burst into laughter and even Fujimoto-sensei smiled before telling everyone to calm down.

Maybe he'd been too hasty in reassuring Tsuna that he'd be fine.

* * *

"Sorry, Su-nii," Tsuna said, a bit distracted as he flipped through a stack of papers. "I know I promised to spend time with you today since practice was cancelled, but the Student Council called an emergency meeting and I need to go as the second in command of the Kendo Club."

Stupid paperwork. Stupid Mochida-sempai who made him in next in line for leadership once the older boy graduated. Which meant that his sempai had given him some extra responsibilities. Which meant filling out forms for the Kendo Club's funds, permission slips for traveling to competitions, and so many other forms that went on and on and on.

And ever since it had become well known that Tsuna was one of the few people tolerated by Hibari-san, other students had begun seeking him out for their problems instead of braving the lair of the Disciplinary Committee. In other words, more paperwork to sort out.

Tsuna really hoped that Ietsugu realized how awesome he was to willingly inflict Hibari's attention on him by joining Hibari's little club.

A careful investigation of the school's adults, done after the principal had unwittingly insulted Ietsugu when Tsuna had gone to his office in an attempt to get them in the same classes, had revealed that they were all terrified of one teenage boy.

Hibari Kyouya.

Tsuna remembered seeing him around a few times in elementary school. On one especially memorable occasion, Hibari had even thrashed some of Ietsugu-nii's bullies, claiming that those herbivores were disturbing the peace.

At the time, Tsuna had been a bit annoyed because hey, these were his brother's attackers, and thus, they were Tsuna's rightful victims. He'd even pouted at the scary boy and poked him in the chest.

Knowing what he knew now about the prefect, Tsuna could only be amazed that Hibari had simply patted him on the head and given him a piece of candy.

Now Hibari was inflicting terror and violence upon Namimori Middle School, cowing even the so-called adults who were supposed to be in control.

So in the weeks before their first year at the new school, Tsuna had gathered up his courage and sought out Hibari. He barely remembered the encounter; there was a lot of screaming and pain and blood and finally darkness.

Tsuna had woken up the next morning in his bed, sore but not too injured. A boy with a pompadour arrived at their doorstep after breakfast, and before he knew it, Tsuna was the newest recruit of the Disciplinary Committee.

As a member of the Disciplinary Committee, one who had Hibari's trust, Tsuna was allowed to punish improperly behaving students for whatever reason. And most of the school was smart enough not to complain. They'd rather serve an unfair punishment than incur the wrath of Hibari Kyouya.

This meant that Tsuna could also crack down on the kids who targeted Ietsugu, and no one would dare say a word. Most people learned their lesson by their third offense, but there were always a few who would break away from the herd to gang up on his twin.

Great. And now Tsuna was using animal metaphors in his thoughts, which meant he was spending way too much time with Hibari.

(Seriously, how did Tetsuya-kun manage to stick to Hibari all day without getting maimed?)

Really, the only drawback in exchange for being able to protect Ietsugu much more efficiently was the heaps and loads of paperwork he was required to tend to.

_When I'm an adult, I am going to choose a career in which I will never need to see a single piece of paperwork ever again,_ Tsuna promised to himself viciously.

* * *

Ten years in the future, an older Tsuna suddenly sneezed.

"Juudaime! I apologize for not being vigilant enough to defend you against germs!"

"It's fine, Hayato. I think someone was just thinking about me."

* * *

Tsuna looked up when he realized that his twin was still in the room and hadn't said anything. Ietsugu was usually pretty restless and prone to bothering Tsuna into responding when he was bored.

Instead, Ietsugu was scowling at a wall, shoulders slumped and arms crossed.

"Su-nii?" Tsuna prodded. "I'm sorry I can't spend time with you again. Please don't be mad at me?"

Tsuna pouted, knowing that his brother could never resist his pout.

"Gah! Put the pout away, Tsu-nii!" Ietsugu yelled. "You know I can't resist that pout!"

Tsuna deepened the pout, adding a sniff for good measure.

Ietsugu buried his face in his hands. "Stop that, nii-san! Fine, I'm not mad, okay? Just a little disappointed, but we just have to reschedule."

Tsuna's pout disappeared, a bright smile quickly taking its place.

"Omnivore," Hibari hissed from the doorway. "Tell this herbivore to stop crowding." He held up a steel tonfa for good measure. It glinted menacingly.

Ietsugu gulped. "ByniiisanI'llseeyouathomeRememberthat-"

"Wait! Su-nii, watch out for-"

Ietsugu collided with Hibari in his haste to run away and knocked them both to the ground, landing in a sprawl of limbs and textbooks.

Tsuna manfully resisted the urge to facepalm. That would take seconds he couldn't spare if he was to hold Hibari's violent reaction back and allow his twin to escape the self-proclaimed carnivore.

Seeing the beginning signs of a Hibari tantrum – Tsuna and Tetsuya had been rushing through the paperwork that Hibari had neglected and were feeling a bit unkind – he vaulted over his desk and grabbed one of the prefect's ankles.

"Run, Su-nii!"

Ietsugu didn't have to be told twice. He ran as fast as he could against the menacing violence Hibari was exuding from his sprawled position on the floor.

Tsuna winced when his brother tripped twice more as he made a hasty, clumsy retreat, and turned to the snarling boy he was still holding down.

"Cake!" Tsuna blurted out desperately in the face of certain death. "I'll bake you a cake!"

Tsuna was very proud of his cakes. According to his mother, whose cooking he'd never be able to match, his baked goods would soon surpass even her skills.

From angel cake to daifuku to crepes, Tsuna seemed to have a heavenly ability to make the most delightful desserts, unmatched by anyone in Namimori.

(Yes, Nana had once entered Tsuna in a baking contest without telling him what it was. Seven year old Tsuna had fun mixing flavors and making pretty flowers to eat.

He'd also gone home bewildered, with a huge trophy in one hand, and a check for an impressive sum of money in the other.

The local bakery had found out, and the owner had actually gotten down on his knees to beg Tsuna to bake for him. Now, the bakery eagerly accepted any of Tsuna's castoffs from one of his infrequent baking sprees, with the sole condition that his name was withheld.)

But cakes were his specialty. Tsuna could make a delicious banana pudding cake or a red bean and strawberry four layer cake or anything your heart desired.

Hibari paused at the offer of Tsuna's much sought-after cakes, but the black aura that surrounded him had yet to dissipate.

"Two cakes! And-and hamburger steak with onions and brown rice for the next month!"

"…Hn. Three cakes and two months."

"W-what? Hibari-san! That-" Tsuna quickly cut himself off as Hibari raised both tonfas. "That sounds completely reasonable! Three cakes it is! And hamgburger steak with onions and brown rice for two months starting tomorrow!"

"Hn," Hibari said, but lowered the tonfas. Tsuna took it as an agreement and let go of Hibari's ankle.

Dignity slightly trampled, Hibari stalked out of the room, probably on the prowl for more misbehaving herbivores he could take his frustrations out on.

Tsuna pitied those poor, foolish students, glad that his brother wouldn't be one of them.

He easily ignored the high-pitched screams of pain and terror and turned back to the piles of paperwork that were thankfully untouched in the scuffle.

The sooner he finished, the sooner he could head home.

* * *

Ietsugu groaned and lightly banged his forehead against the table a few times.

"-takes a bit of logic. So once you figure out x, just plug it into the other equation to get y. Now for the third equation in the set, what you need to do is-"

Ietsugu tuned out his brother's explanation. Tsuna still insisted on cramming as much knowledge as he could into Ietsugu's poor brain and would not give up despite years and years of failing test scores.

"-sugu. Ietsugu!"

Ietsugu regretfully let go of a daydream in which he was the valiant superhero who had just saved a beautiful damsel (who looked suspiciously like Sasagawa Kyoko) from the jaws of death and turned his head towards his brother.

Tsuna sighed. "You're not listening to me anymore, are you? Alright, we'll take a break."

Nana came into the dining room, bearing a plate of snacks. "My sons are both working so hard," she said. "I'm so proud that Tsu-kun is still helping Su-kun! But your papa called me this morning. He says that the tutor will arrive at our home tomorrow! So Tsu-kun, you won't have to keep teaching your brother anymore!"

"Tutor? That's still going on?" Ietsugu put his head back on the table.

"Of course it is," his mother responded. "I told you about the wonderful tutor last week, Su-kun."

"And I thought that since it's been a week, that the so-called tutor found a better victim to rip off."

"Su-nii! Don't be so rude," Tsuna interjected before Nana could become upset. "I didn't know that Tou-san knew about the tutor."

"Your Tou-san was very excited when I told him about the flyer last week. He said that he recognized the name of the tutor, and that it definitely wasn't a scam! And today, he called to tell me that the tutor will arrive tomorrow. Oh, he also said that he would call later tonight because he wants to speak to his adorable sons!" Nana giggled and sighed and drifted out of the room, thinking about her handsome husband.

"Twice in a day? The world must be about to end," Ietsugu muttered under his breath.

Tsuna shot him an exasperated look. "You should stop being angry at Tou-san," he said over his mouthful of cracker.

"You've been saying that since we were eight and Kaa-san and I returned home to see Tou-san bawling and squeezing you to death, aniki," Ietsugu said, reaching for the platter of snacks. "And you still won't tell me why from then on, Tou-san calls home every month and comes home once a year to visit us," he mentally added.

"And I'll keep saying it until I don't have to anymore, otouto."

"I still don't get why _you're_ not mad at him anymore," Ietsugu grumped. "He always promises to attend one of your kendo matches, and he's only made it to one of them. And he was late, too."

"Just be nice on the phone?" Tsuna wheedled, shoving another cracker into his brother's mouth.

Ietsugu chewed grudgingly and shrugged.

"Good enough," Tsuna conceded.

* * *

"TUNA FISH! PAPA MISSED YOU SO MUCH!"

Tsuna pulled the phone away from his ear, wincing at the volume.

"Hi Papa," Tsuna said with fond exasperation. It was a common feeling among many of Iemitsu's acquaintances. "Is everything okay? You usually don't call more than once a month unless there's a holiday or something."

"Can't your papa call his sons simply because he misses them?"

"Of course, Papa. I was just asking," Tsuna said. He smoothly moved their conversation to his school activities, talking about how the next kendo competition was coming up and how he was preparing for it.

He passed the phone to his brother, whose face looked like a thundercloud of anger and resentment.

Tsuna tuned out Ietsugu's short, acerbic replies to whatever their father was wailing about. His thoughts lingered on the purpose of Iemitsu's call. It was definitely suspicious. The last time he'd called them within a week of the last phone call, it was only to let them know that he was coming home for a few days.

Iemitsu had muttered something about safety and tracing and Tsuna knew enough not to pry.

"Here," Ietsugu grunted at him, shoving the phone into his hands. "The bastard wants to talk to you."

Tsuna watched his brother storm out of the room before he brought the phone up to his ear.

"What did you say to Su-nii, Papa? I haven't seen him this angry in a while."

"I really don't know," Iemitsu said, suddenly sounding sad and tired. The relationship he had with his youngest son was shaky and volatile. "We were just talking and then he grumbled something about talking to you."

"Hmm," Tsuna hummed in thought. "So, this tutor-"

"He's trustworthy," his father interrupted, still serious. "He-he'll teach you guys some important skills, especially you, Tsuna. And-um-I- I'm sorry."

"About what?" Tsuna asked, suspicious and worried. "Is this-"

"You'll understand soon enough, Tsunayoshi. Just, just don't hate me, okay?"

"Don't be silly, Papa. I could never hate you. I love you, okay?"

"Yeah, Papa loves you too."

Tsuna brought the phone down after the dial tone sounded in his ear, following a sudden urge to glance out the window.

Nothing but the moonlight shining through the tree branches could be seen, but Tsuna somehow knew that his father's weird insinuations and implied meanings and the promised tutor were connected.

Well, no use worrying about things now. Unlike Ietsugu, Tsuna _did _trust their father. So, shaking off any uneasy thoughts, he went upstairs to bother his twin out of his grumpy mood.

* * *

Reborn stilled as the curtains of one of the windows lifted, spilling out light.

That was… unexpected.

One of the twins seemed to look directly at the place where Reborn was perching. It could have been coincidence, but Reborn had not become the world's greatest Hitman by disregarding any piece of information, no matter how insignificant it seemed at the time.

He had observed the Sawada household for an entire day and was pleased that most of what he'd seen matched the reports that Timoteo had handed to him before he left on his latest mission.

Sawada Nana really was as sweet and kind as that idiot Iemitsu had claimed.

Sawada Ietsugu was just as lazy and unmotivated as the reports implied. Nothing in them had mentioned just how strongly he depended upon his older twin, though.

Sawada Tsunayoshi. He was the elder twin, even though he was shorter and looked younger than his brother, but still fiercely protective. As popular and well-liked as he was, Tsuna had never faltered from his brother's side.

Tomorrow would definitely be interesting, Reborn mused.

_I wonder if I should start with the rubber bullets or use the electric probe instead?_

* * *

**Ending notes:** Nothing much happened in this chapter, as it was mostly used to establish how the twins act at school.

While I like my share of Iemitsu-bashing, I can also see the impossible situation he was in with the Mafia and his family. So don't expect to see much, if any, bashing here.

Hopefully the last conversation between Iemitsu and Tsuna wasn't too vague or unclear. It's supposed to imply that yes, Tsuna knows a bit about his father's real job, and Iemitsu knows that his son knows. The how of it will probably be revealed in the next chapter.

Next time, Reborn's official introduction!

Preview: _"Wait, that means Tsuna-nii's theory that Tou-san works in the Mafia is correct!" Ietsugu said loudly._


	3. It's a Mafia Life, Tsunayoshi

**In Another Life**

Chapter 3: It's a Mafia Life, Tsunayoshi

Chapter Summary: Reborn's arrival heralds great changes. Whether they are good or bad remain to be seen.

**A/N: **I rewrote this like three times and finally just gave up. Here, have at it!

* * *

"Kaa-san, why are you cleaning out one of the spare rooms?" Ietsugu asked around a mouthful of exquisitely crafted white chocolate hazelnut mousse cake. Tsuna had apparently gone on another one of his baking sprees in the middle of the night, yet somehow managed to look completely awake at 6 am in the morning.

"The home tutor's arriving today, Ietsugu-kun!" his mother exclaimed. "Don't tell me you've forgotten! Your brother stayed up so late last night baking for our guest so that he would feel welcome in our home."

Ietsugu grumbled into his milk and decided not to protest that his brother was a stress baker, and that these delightful confectionary treats were probably not intended to welcome a virtual stranger into the sanctity of their home. But it was too early in the morning for arguments; Ietsugu had to be completely awake for him to even attempt to argue with his airheadedly stubborn, oblivious mother.

Sometimes, Ietsugu got the feeling that their mother lived in a world completely separated from reality.

"Really, Ietsugu-kun," Nana continued. "You should follow your brother's example and be more responsible! It's a good thing the tutor will be coming today to help you."

Ietsugu ignored his mother with practiced ease and focused instead on demolishing his portion of the delicious cake, simply nodding and humming in agreement at the appropriate places. He wasn't like Tsuna, who was such a saint that he actually listened to each and every word and responded with thoughtful, insightful comments.

Speaking of angels, Tsuna had come back inside from throwing out the trash. Ietsugu frowned as he heard Tsuna obviously talking to someone.

"-brother, Ietsugu, and our mother!" Tsuna said to the little bundle he was cradling in his arms.

Ietsugu blinked and rubbed his eyes. He blinked again. He pinched himself. Ow. He was definitely awake, and that meant he did not dream that his twin brother had somehow found himself a cute baby dressed in a perfectly tailored and very expensive suit and was carrying him inside the house.

"Ciassou," the baby said in a very adorable high squeaky voice. Predictably, Nana melted and cooed over their unexpected guest.

"Oh, how adorable! Hello there! Are you lost?"

"Ah, he's our home tutor, Kaa-san," Tsuna said, a bit awkwardly.

Ietsugu blinked yet again. _It's too early in the morning for this kind of weirdness_.

"Yes, I'm Reborn, the home tutor from the flyer," the baby said. "A Sawada Nana called, inquiring about hiring a tutor for her twin sons."

Nana looked uncertainly at the child and then to Tsuna, who simply shrugged and said, "I think he's one of those child prodigies or something. He seems sincere."

Apparently that was all that was needed for her to easily accept the situation. "Welcome to our home," she said cheerfully as if cute babies claiming to be home tutors happened to her all the time. "There's a room prepared for you! Of course, if you don't feel comfortable sleeping alone at night, I'm sure one of my sons wouldn't mind sharing."

"As the twins' home tutor, I must spend as much time with my students as I can. Therefore I will stay in Tsunayoshi's room tonight, and Ietsugu's tomorrow," the baby declared imperiously.

Ietsugu felt that this ridiculous farce of a situation had gone on long enough. Why in the world were his naïve brother and mother just accepting that this baby was the tutor he claimed to be?

"What the hell?" Ietsugu said loudly. "Tsuna-nii, don't tell me you're falling for this baby's tricks! He-"

_Bam._

Ietsugu's skull exploded with pain and he crumpled to the floor, only avoiding another painful collision with the table by Tsuna's incredibly fast reflexes.

"Was that really necessary, Reborn?" Tsuna chided sternly as he carefully laid his brother's aching head onto the carpeted floor.

"I don't like being treated with disrespect, Tsuna," Reborn sniffed.

Ietsugu groaned. "Oooooowwwww, Tsuna. It hurts!"

Tsuna examined the red mark on his brother's forehead. "You don't seem to be heavily injured, and the pain will fade in a few minutes, Su-nii," he concluded.

"Stop whining, Hopeless Ietsugu. I barely even touched you," Reborn said, perched on Tsuna's shoulder.

Tsuna frowned. He plucked Reborn off his shoulder and set him down.

"Reborn, please never call my brother "hopeless". He has never been hopeless and he never will be. I've spent years convincing him otherwise. I don't appreciate having my efforts undermined. If you are going to be our tutor, that is my one demand."

Tsuna stared implacably at the strange baby, whose dark eyes glittered unsettlingly.

Ietsuna tried not to gulp as he realized he was caught in the middle of the battle of wills between two rather formidable opponents.

"Very well, Tsunayoshi," Reborn capitulated after a tense moment.

Tsuna grinned and put the baby back on his shoulder.

"Thank you, Reborn. Now, I've prepared a variety of Italian style desserts, and I was hoping that you would sample a few of them," Tsuna said happily. "Kaa-san, can you serve Reborn some of the tiramisu I made this morning?"

"Of course, Tsu-kun! Here, Reborn, try some of this," Nana easily took Reborn into her arms and placed him on one of the kitchen stools. She shoved a plate of a heavenly looking confection under Reborn's nose. "Tsu-kun's so talented at baking!"

Ietsugu watched as yet another person became a willing victim of Tsuna's wonderful baking, and pouted.

Now Tsuna would be spending even more time baking for people who were not his brother!

"Tsuna," Ietsugu whined. "My head hurts! Only your cakes seem to help."

"Sit on the couch, Su-nii, and don't move. I'll get you another piece."

Ietsugu complied. His new position gave him a perfect view of the crazy baby's greedy face. He glared at this _Reborn_, only to eep when Reborn glared back.

* * *

Tsuna would never admit it to his brother, but he was incredibly nervous and uncertain over the imending arrival of this tutor, who was most definitely connected to his father in some way. And his father's parting words had in no way reassured him in the slightest.

He had spent the remainder of the evening cheering his brother up and fell asleep in Ietsugu's room, which was not an unusual occurrence.

His worries had led him to a restless sleep, and so Tsuna gave up resting and rolled out of Ietsugu's octopus embrace at 3 am.

There was only one thing Tsuna could do when he was stressed.

Bake.

Back when Tsuna had the life changing epiphany that his brother needed protection, and that he was the one who needed to provide that protection, he had been looking for ways to improve both his academics and his lack of coordination.

Several fruitless attempts later, he was no closer to understanding his English homework to the extent that he could help his brother with his. Tsuna had burst into tears of frustration. Nana had come rushing into the den, scooped him up, and guided him as he baked his first cake.

Baking had actually been a huge help. It required precise movements, steady hands, and a bit of math, but the end was a (hopefully) delicious reward.

The three of them had enjoyed the fruits of Tsuna's labor, and even Ietsugu, still with red eyes and splotchy nose, was sporting a shaky smile by the time he finished his slice.

It had given Tsuna confidence in himself. He _would_ help his brother somehow.

The next day at school, Tsuna had given his stuffed lion a big squeeze, handed it to his confused brother, and approached the super scary (but smart! Very, very smart.) girl in their class.

"E-excuse me, Ku-kurokawa-san," Tsuna said softly.

Kurokawa Hana looked up from the thick tome she had been reading and gave Tsuna a rather imperious glare.

"Yes?"

"Y-you're ve-very smart and I-I have trouble w-with the h-homework. C-can you help?"

By some miracle of the gods, Hana had not dismissed him like she had with everyone else who had approached her with a similar request. (She later admitted that this was because he was like a fluffy bunny and even she wasn't heartless enough to hurt cute baby animals.) Instead, she had checked over his math worksheet, pointed out the wrong answers and explained how to solve them without giving away the correct answers until he figured it out for himself.

Fifteen minutes later, Tsuna had in his possession a completely correct worksheet.

"Thank you so much, Hana-chan!" Forgetting about his own shy nature, he'd given Hana a huge smile and proceeded to glomp her while she patted his back awkwardly.

By the end of the month, Tsuna had improved in practically every subject at an amazing rate, thanks to Hana's strict tutelage. The only low point was that his new friend and his twin brother seemed to hate each other on sight, and that didn't change, no matter how much he pouted or begged.

Tsuna had asked Hana if she was willing to tutor Ietsugu as well and had gotten a horrified look in response. He had also tried to convince his twin to go to Hana for help with the homework subjects he was having a hard time learning, but to no avail.

So Tsuna learned from his new friend, and when he felt sufficiently educated, tried to pass on that knowledge to his brother. It was more hit than miss, but at least Ietsugu's homework did improve slightly.

Meanwhile, Tsuna received the surprise of his life when the teacher had handed back his test with a 95% and a smiley face scrawled at the top, along with some verbal praise.

He'd been so happy that he gave Hana the slice of cake he'd brought to school, forever cementing their relationship of tutoring and baked goods.

When Kyoko had joined their circle of friends, she had been delighted to discover that Tsuna's pastries and cakes far surpassed the offerings of the local bakery. Apparently, he was still the only boy allowed to celebrate their monthly cake indulgence day with them.

So Tsuna had gotten into the unconscious habit of winning over most of his friends with food. Even a demon like Hibari could be tamed with a well of courage, infinite patience, and tasty, yummy cakes.

Even a baby-sized tutor and hitman.

* * *

"Ciassou," came the greeting from an adorable little baby.

Tsuna almost jumped in surprise, barely managing to hold onto the trash bag he was about to toss into the garbage can outside.

He hadn't even heard anything!

"Hello!" Tsuna greeted back cheerfully, if a bit breathlessly as well. "Can I help you with anything?"

The baby tilted his head up to look at him.

"I'm Reborn, the home tutor," the baby chirped.

"Er, you are?" Tsuna said faintly. Their home tutor was ostensibly connected with the Mafia. Tsuna had expected a burly, scarred man who smoked and shot at everything, not a cute baby with curly sideburns and a perfectly tailored suit.

_Must. Resist. Cute._

"You're here a bit early, Reborn-san," Tsuna said, giving no indication of his inward thoughts. "I hope you don't mind that the house is still bit of a mess. We've been cleaning it up for your arrival."

"You really believe I'm the home tutor?" Reborn asked skeptically.

Tsuna shrugged. "You may be small but no real baby I know of could speak so clearly. And I've seen weirder things before."

_Like my father encased in orange Flames beating the stuffing out of another man. Or every single adult in Namimori being completely and utterly terrified of Hibari-san. Or the completely oblivious nature that both my mother and Kyoko-chan share._

"Hmm," Reborn said noncommittally. Tsuna thought he might have detected a tiny hint of surprise.

"Well, as long as you don't mind the state of the house, you're welcome to come in," Tsuna invited.

Reborn didn't feel harmless, per say, but Tsuna received no blaring signals of danger in his gut. Rather, his instincts told him that this was someone who could be trusted, and Tsuna's instincts were uncannily spot on when he bothered to listen to them.

Tsuna barely held back his yelp when Reborn launched himself at his face. Instead of pain, Tsuna felt a gentle pressure on the top of his head.

"Lead the way," Reborn commanded, clutching at Tsuna's hair like reigns.

Tsuna chuckled, and obliged.

* * *

Reborn was in bliss. Complete and utter bliss. His taste buds sang symphonies to his other senses as the coffee flavored frosting that topped his generous slice of tiramisu melted slowly in his mouth, leaving a pleasant aftertaste.

Across from the table, Tsuna grinned.

"Is it good?" he asked. "There weren't any coffee beans around, so I used instant coffee instead. It turned out better than I expected, but not as good as if I'd used the real thing."

Reborn allowed himself a few more minutes of indulgence before he responded.

"The real thing is always better, Tsuna, but this isn't too bad."

"It's perfect," Ietsugu declared fiercely around his own mouthful. "Anyone who can insult your cakes has no soul."

Tsuna sighed. "Be polite, Su-nii. I asked Reborn for his criticism, and he responded honestly. But thank you, Ietsugu. I'm glad you enjoy my baking."

Ietsugu blushed and turned back to his plate, focusing on gobbling up the rest of his portion.

Reborn watched in interest at the interaction between the twins. The brothers were definitely very protective of each other.

Tsuna had seemed more like a scolding mother than a teenage boy when he _requested_ that Reborn not call his brother hopeless.

Reborn had been tempted to refuse for argument's sake, and also because it was never a good idea to show weakness to his new students, but he also sensed that this could become an explosive issue and would define their relationship from now on. So he'd relented and suddenly felt like he had dodged a very lethal bullet.

It was impressive, really, that the twins had such a strong bond with each other in spite of their differences. Reborn would have guessed that the more popular twin would have long since left the less impressive one behind due to peer pressure or a growing difference between the two.

Instead, the reports from the spies and bodyguards stationed around Namimori had all unanimously praised Tsunayoshi's tenacious loyalty and dedication to Ietsugu. It was a good trait for a Mafia Boss to have. Loyalty – true, genuine loyalty, not the kind inspired by fear or flattery – was a rare commodity in the underworld that was high sought after but rarely obtained. Loyalty was the reason why Vongola had persevered through the centuries, and why all other Famiglias were either allied to it or scared shitless.

Tsuna not only had that sort of loyalty in spades, he could also inspire it in others.

Ietsugu, on the other hand, had a less flattering report. The spies had been mixed in their assessment of the younger twin, with some declaring that he had potential to grow and some scorning his lazy attitude and utter dependence on Tsuna, but they'd all agreed that overall, Ietsugu showed less promise than Tsuna.

It wasn't really a choice in the end. Tsuna was everything anyone could want as the future Decimo. Iemitsu had gone on and on about his "adorable Tuna fishy" and Nono had nodded in agreement, having met the twins a while back. Even _Xanxus_, of all people, had approved.

"_Huh, I can't believe baby Decimo has such a piece of trash for a father."_

Which was Xanxus speak for practically showering praise on Tsuna.

(Reborn lamented the peaceful days before he'd been stockholmed into developing his own personal Xanxus translator, as anyone who spent time with the Varia leader was wont to do out of sheer necessity.)

But reading the reports was one thing. Tsuna couldn't be _that_ perfect. After all, information wasn't always guaranteed to be accurate, and Reborn had gotten himself into the habit of double checking his sources from a young age. Collonnello could scoff all he liked, but it had saved his ass several times through the years. And it was probably the only thing he and Verde could ever agree on, which wasn't saying much.

Reborn, after agreeing to accept the tutoring request from Nono with a surprisingly large degree of anticipation, had spent several days observing the Sawada household from a distance.

(If anyone was surprised that the World's Greatest Hitman had easily agreed to tutor two civilian brats, they were smart enough not to say anything.

In all honesty, Nono had practically gone down on his knees for Reborn to consent to tutoring the young Cavallone heir.

Reborn had discovered a side of himself that he had no idea existed. He _liked_ teaching. After years of taking away lives and coating himself in blood, it was a pleasant change of pace to do the opposite: to nurture life and watch it grow.

He'd transformed Dino from a whiney, cowardly boy into a strong and confident leader.

It was his proudest accomplishment to this day, not that he would ever admit it to anyone.)

Yes, Tsunayoshi really was that promising. From the few pictures that had been salvaged from Primo's era, as well as what the other Vongola Bosses had mentioned from their inheritance trials, Reborn could see the astonishing similarities. Sure, Ietsugu bore a stronger physical resemblance, with his lighter colored hair and eyes, but there was a fire and a dignity in Tsunayoshi that practically sang of Primo.

Reborn had watched as Tsuna gently terrified bullies into leaving his brother alone, never realizing he'd just gained a few more converts. He watched as Tsuna patiently tried to guide Ietsugu, never giving up even when Ietsugu refused to learn.

Tsuna was gentle when he could be, and stern when he had to. He had a potent charismatic draw, a closely knit group of friends, and an impeccable reputation.

Reborn didn't know how either one of the twins would hold up against pressure and violence and the darkness of the Mafia, but he was willing to bet that Tsuna would come out even stronger.

* * *

"Why are you indulging that crazy baby, Tsu-nii?" Ietsugu grumbled as they made their way to school. "You can't seriously believe him!"

"I can and I do," Tsuna responded distractedly. "Su-nii, do you sense someone following us?"

Ietsugu glanced around. The streets were empty this early in the morning.

"Nooo," he drew out. "Why?"

Only someone as crazy as Sasagawa Ryohei would be out and about at this time of the day. Tsuna had an early kendo practice to make up from yesterday's cancelled session, otherwise the twins wouldn't be up this early either.

"EXTREEEEEEEME!"

Ah, speak of the devil. Ietsugu made a face, but couldn't hide it quickly enough from his brother, who just looked a bit sad but said nothing, and stopped for his friend.

Tsuna had tried, over the years, to get Ietsugu integrated in his tight-knit group of friends, but finally gave up when Ietsugu had snapped at his brother.

"I already know I'm hopeless! I don't need my brother to make friends for me!"

Tsuna had winced but agreed to stop.

Ietsugu wasn't sure why – well, he knew why, he just hated thinking about it – but he disliked all of Tsuna's friends to varying degrees.

Hana, the first friend Tsuna had made, was a snappish, bossy shrew. Her eyes had raked over him dismissively at the first meeting, and Ietsugu had blurted out an insult defensively. He had tried to apologize – Tsuna had the most irresistible puppy eyes – but the damage had been done.

Ietsugu was forever categorized as a brainless monkey and ignored when possible, which suited him just fine. Besides, it was better than arguing with each other every time they were in close proximity, which was often. Neither could withstand Tsuna's inevitable Maximum Pout of Doom.

Ietsugu had a bit of a crush on Kyoko because she was cute, but it was often overshadowed by the pocket of anger he nursed over how she would smile brilliantly at Tsuna but only ever greeted him with a small, polite nod.

Ryohei and Yamamoto were equally annoying in Ietsugu's eyes, always pestering Tsuna to join their respective sports teams. They also took up too much of his brother's time, and there was already little enough to spare with all of Tsuna's responsibilities.

If Ietsugu were physically capable of doing so, he would have beat up Hibari and Mochida in a heartbeat. They were the kind who relied on strength to determine someone's worth, and Heaven help you if you were a weakling, like Ietsugu. At least they were tame around Tsuna.

"You know, if we duck behind that tree, we can avoid the loudmouth," Ietsugu couldn't help but suggest hopefully, a hope that was quashed by Tsuna's chastising look.

Ietsugu resigned himself to becoming temporarily deaf. Really, how was Tsuna able to tolerate all these weird quirks his friends seemed to flaunt?

* * *

"I swear, I'm either imagining things, or Reborn is somewhere in the school watching us," Tsuna said to his brother, plopping himself down on the floor.

All morning, Tsuna had been slightly distracted by an itch on the back of his neck that he was positive was related to Reborn.

Tsuna opened his lunchbox to find yesterday's leftovers. In anticipation of Reborn's arrival, his mother had experimented with Italian food, creating a delicious lasagna that the twins had quickly wolfed down.

"This again? And what's up with Tou-san? How is he related to Reborn the psycho?" Ietsugu said.

Tsuna pouted a bit, but it was lost on his hungry twin. "I tried telling you before, but you wouldn't listen to me."

"You mean when I thought you hit your head because you were spouting off all these crazy things-"

"Haha, that's where you snuck off to, Tsuna-kun," Yamamoto's happy voice interrupted. "We usually don't eat on the roof, though. Oh hi, Ietsugu-san."

Tsuna elbowed his grumpy twin, who only grunted in greeting.

Really, Tsuna could maybe understand Ietsugu not getting along with people like Hana or Hibari, but Yamamoto Takeshi? The guy was open and friendly and Tsuna found his presence quite soothing. He had no idea what had gone on between the two, and no amount of tickling or pestering would get Ietsugu to say anything.

"I heard that you guys won yesterday's game, Takeshi-kun. Congratulations," Tsuna said. For a moment, his perpetually smiling friend seemed to have a dark shadow across his face but it disappeared quickly enough that Tsuna was probably imagining things. It was likely the paranoia stirred up by Reborn's _exciting_ arrival.

"Yeah, I hit another homerun," Takeshi said. "My stats have been dropping a little, though, and I'm not sure why."

"Well, it might help if you would give yourself a break from practicing every once in a while," Tsuna said mildly. He didn't like the way that the baseball team always put the pressure of winning on his friend's shoulders.

"Nah. By the way, when are you going to join the baseball team?"

"You're too late," Tsuna snickered. "We ran into Onii-san on the way to school this morning and I had to dodge at least ten attempts to get me to box with him."

"Aww," Takeshi said.

Ryohei and Takeshi had a friendly competition going on, in which each would try to be the first to invite Tsuna to join their respective sports. It had started a while back, when Tsuna had gingerly approached Takeshi for tips on how to stop tripping over everything.

Takeshi had just looked confused and invited Tsuna to play sports with him. Through tennis, football, badminton, and baseball, among other sports, Takeshi had eagerly dragged his friend along. Slowly but surely, Tsuna had lost his clumsy movements and developed a more graceful gait that was later honed by learning kendo.

Ryohei had found out that his sister's new friends were extreme people who enjoyed sports, and so ended up tagging along. Eventually, Ryohei had found the love of his life in boxing, while Yamamoto quickly picked up a love for baseball. Tsuna was the last to decide, and eventually discovered kendo, disappointing his friends who were each trying to convince him of the merit of their sport.

They'd almost had a fight over it, until Tsuna had been convinced by a sniffling Kyoko to wade in and make peace. Since then, it had developed into friendly ribbing and something of an inside joke for their group.

"I'm sorry for my brother," Kyoko said, having caught the bit of the conversation when she and Hana had finally reached the roof where the rest of their friends were congregating. "He's just so enthusiastic about boxing."

"I don't mind, Kyoko-chan," Tsuna reassured. "Hey, Su-nii, want the rest of my lunch? I ate too much cake this morning."

"Sure," his brother grunted, alerting Tsuna's friends to his presence.

"Hello, Ietsugu-san," Kyoko said politely.

"Hi," Hana said shortly.

Ietsugu just grunted again and set about polishing off his food.

Tsuna slumped a little. Why was his brother so awkward around his friends?

When Little Tsuna had happily introduced Ietsugu to Hana, his first friend, Ietsugu had simply glared and insulted the girl, who had retaliated with her sharp mind and even sharper tongue. It was not an auspicious beginning, and the hostility between them had never really faded.

Eventually, Tsuna had simply written his twin's behavior off as an anomaly, but was forced to reconsider when Ietsugu treated each one of Tsuna's friends with similar disdain. Tsuna had even played with the idea that maybe his brother was jealous over his friends but dismissed the thought, as Ietsugu always encouraged him to spend time with the others.

Tsuna had asked several times over the years if his friends were mistreating Ietsugu in any way, or if there was something his twin knew that would explain the less than polite behavior. He'd even offered to severe those friendships. As much as it would hurt, Ietsugu was more important and essential than anyone else. Only his brother's horrified look and vehement denial had persuaded Tsuna not to give up his friends.

Eventually, Tsuna had also stopped trying to forcibly integrate Ietsugu into the group; his persistence had resulted in one of the only arguments between the twins. Ietsugu seemed to prefer staying at his side and reacted defensively whenever Tsuna had caught a look of loneliness on his face.

Tsuna had finally left the touchy subject alone. This was the only thing his brother seemed to resent his help in.

So Tsuna simply handed over his bento, choosing to say nothing to his twin, and greeted the girls instead.

Hana always had the most interesting gossip to share, while Kyoko made the best pork buns.

* * *

"Wanna hang out after school, Tsuna?" Yamamoto offered as they made their way through the crush of students all hurrying for their next class. "I need to work on my swing, so I'll be staying pretty late. You can help pitch the balls."

"Sorry, Takeshi, I can't," Tsuna turned down regretfully. "My parents hired a home tutor of all things, and Ietsugu and I shouldn't keep him waiting too long. Besides, your swing seems fine to me. You really don't need to spend more time on it, unlike your history homework. You skipped studying for the last exam to practice baseball again, didn't you?"

Takeshi shrugged and winced a bit, before sitting down at his desk next to Tsuna.

"Eh, don't worry too much! I'll make it up next time."

Takeshi was stubborn in his own way; once his mind was set, he'd only brush off any protests with an unconcerned grin.

Tsuna eyed his friend with some concern and skepticism, but let it go.

* * *

"Sorry, Hibari-san," Tsuna bowed apologetically. "I am unable to spar with you this afternoon-Eep! Please don't attack me! You'll destroy the cake!"

Hibari quickly snatched the white box out of Tsuna's hands, holding the precious cargo carefully. Tsuna hid a smirk. Since the prefect's hands were full, he was unable to continue his attack.

"My brother and I have a home tutor waiting at home for us, and it would be rude to ignore him," Tsuna explained quickly.

"Hm."

"It's- it's complicated," Tsuna said awkwardly. "But I really wouldn't skip a Disciplinary Committee meeting without a very good reason."

"…Hn."

"I'll make you green tea mochi cake," Tsuna wheedled. "And it won't count towards the three I already owe you. And I'll handle your paperwork for the rest of the week?"

"Hn." Hibari turned and walked back inside the school, still cradling the cake box gently.

"You can come out now, Su-nii. Hibari went inside."

Ietsugu jumped out of the bush he'd hidden himself in to avoid becoming the target of the prefect's grudge from yesterday, and only avoided falling when his brother's hands caught him with practiced ease.

"I think your cakes could actually bring about world piece, Tsuna-nii," Ietsugu remarked. He brushed off the dirt and foliage from his clothes, wincing at yet another tear on his shirt. His movements caught his brother's attention, and Ietsugu patiently endured Tsuna's fussing and fretting. He drew the line at orange lion patterned bandages that Tsuna had conjured out of thin air, though.

"Are you really sure that Reborn's the home tutor?" Ietsugu asked again. "What if we just let a psycho serial killer live with us?"

Tsuna gave his twin the deadpan look his speculation deserved. "For one thing, I doubt Papa would let us harbor a serial killer who meant to harm-"

"Oh, well, if Tou-san said so, then everything's fine!" Ietsugu exclaimed sarcastically, throwing up his hands in the air. Tsuna had to tug sharply and hold him back to avoid Ietsugu's face colliding with the streetlight pole.

Frankly, Ietsugu wouldn't trust their father with the care and feeding of a hamster, let alone his family's safety and wellbeing. What would Iemitsu know, anyway? He wasn't here with them. He was in Italy, probably lounging by the poolside of a huge mansion as if he had no responsibilities, like, oh say, a wife and two kids.

* * *

In the CEDEF Headquarters, located somewhere in Sicily, Sawada Iemitsu was currently locked inside a small, dank room with only several piles of papers and a pack of pens for company.

"Lal! Have mercy on meeeee!" Iemitsu whined at the locked, bolted door.

"You're three months behind on your paperwork, you idiot! You're not coming out until you've gone through at least one stack!" Lal Mirch shouted from the other side of the door.

"B-but, I'm your boss!" Iemitsu tried. "You can't lock your wonderful, caring boss up! Lal? Lal?"

* * *

Ietsugu didn't know why Tsuna refused to resent their father, and he didn't want to know. Iemitsu called home once a month and came to visit once a year, and it had been so since the twins were eight.

Before that, though, Ietsugu remembered his father had suddenly up and left when they were around three, and for five years, rarely ever called or visited. Something Tsuna had said definitely made an impression on Iemitsu, but Ietsugu was stubbornly sticking to the philosophy of "too little, too late" no matter how many times Tsuna tried to excuse such behavior.

It was Tsuna's biggest flaw, being completely blind to the weaknesses of his loved ones and too forgiving of their missteps.

Their mother wasn't willing to confront their school teachers about their poor treatment of Ietsugu? Tsuna dismissed it as their mother's optimism and took on the responsibility of shield his brother himself.

Their father wasn't willing to come home more than once a year? Tsuna shrugged it off as if Iemitsu had a good excuse for doing so. Instead, he wheedled monthly phone calls out of their deadbeat father.

Ietsugu was the worst brother in the world to Tsuna for a few short months? Tsuna brushed it off as a simple tantrum and never, ever brought it up.

Really, Tsuna was the only thing keeping their family together and mostly functional. Ietsugu knew that if it was up to him, he'd have written off Nana and Iemitsu as hopeless, negligent parents. It was thanks to his twin brother that he curbed his tongue and maintained decent, if distant, relationships with his ditzy mother and idiot father.

"Hey Tsuna," Ietsugu said suddenly. "You know you're the best brother in the world, right?"

"Nope, that's you!" Tsuna said, valiantly holding back his snickers at his brother's embarrassed flush. Really, Ietsugu was practically allergic to emotions!

They playfully shoved at each other as they headed home.

* * *

Reborn surveyed the two Sawadas sitting on the bed across from him. They were so innocent, so untainted, and Reborn almost didn't want to do this. But the Mafia world left little room for sentiment, so he steeled himself to do his duty.

"Earlier today, I introduced myself as your home tutor," Reborn began. "What I didn't mention is that I'm also the World's Greatest Hitman, and you are the only remaining heirs of the Vongola Famiglia. I was sent by the Ninth boss of the Famiglia to train the two of you. One of you will become the next boss of the strongest Mafia organization in the world."

Dead silence. Tsuna blinked rapidly while Ietsugu slowly turned purple.

Reborn waited. _Three… two… one…_

"What the hell, you stupid baby?" Ietsugu exploded. "Don't joke about dangerous things like that! Tsuna, _now_ will you believe me –EAAGGHHHHHHH!"

Both twins ducked simultaneously when Reborn shot a rubber bullet into the wall behind them.

"Shut up, Baka Ietsugu. What I'm telling you is the complete truth, and the faster you accept it, the better."

"I-" Tsuna started.

"The baby shot at us! Oh my god, the baby has a gun! The baby shot at us with a gun! Tsuna, Tsuna, oh my god-" Ietsugu's panicked rambling quickly turned into muffled protests when Tsuna covered up his mouth with his hand.

"Calm down, Su-nii," Tsuna instructed gently, turning his back to Reborn. "Take deep breaths with me, okay?"

Reborn was seldom shocked, but Tsuna really was full of surprises. What kind of idiot shows their back to the person who just shot at them? Either Tsuna was completely dense or he had such great instincts that they told him that Reborn wasn't truly a threat.

"Really, Reborn," Tsuna said in exasperation. "There have to be better ways to break the news to us rather than using a gun."

"It was fun," Reborn admitted shamelessly. This only made Ietsugu glare harder. "You seem to be taking this rather well, Tsuna."

"Eh, I kind of already knew about the Mafia," Tsuna said sheepishly, to the shock of the other two occupants in his bedroom.

"What."

"Well, Papa _is_ in the Mafia, and-"

"Tou-san's in the Mafia. Tou-san is a Mafioso. Our loud, idiotic father is part of the Mafia," Ietsugu said in disbelief.

"I tried to tell you, Su-nii, but you wouldn't listen," Tsuna said.

"That goofball who comes home once a year for less than a week as actually a Mafioso," Ietsugu continued.

"Yup," Tsuna said with a nod.

"Our father is a criminal, Tsuna! How are you taking this so calmly?!" Ietsugu screeched.

Tsuna sighed. "I've had a bit more time to get used to it, Su-nii. And I think _criminal_ is a bit misleading. Papa's just, well, doing something not completely legal."

"That's the exact definition of a criminal! Wait, then that means Tsuna-nii's ridiculous theory that Tou-san works in the Mafia is correct!" Ietsugu exclaimed loudly in sudden realization.

"It's not my fault you wouldn't believe me," Tsuna said with a pout. "And it's not a crazy theory! I had the evidence to back it up but you ran away every time I brought out the Pikachu folder!"

"Because I thought you were trying to teach me long division!" Ietsugu said heatedly. "You always kept the worksheets in the yellow folder and tried to ambush me into learning something! Of course I wasn't going to stand still for you to torture me some more!"

"That was the green Bulbasaur folder! I-"

"Enough," Reborn's stern voice cut through the twins' banter. He definitely had a headache, a Dino-sized one. He'd definitely been too foolish to think that his current students would be any less stress inducing than his previous one.

"Tsuna, explain to me how you know about Iemitsu's real profession."

"Ah, well, it wasn't really that hard to be suspicious of Papa's excuses," Tsuna answered, thinking back. "And then I was talking to him on the phone and heard these really loud noises that sounded exactly like gunshots. So of course I didn't believe Papa's claim that the stereo was broken. I looked into it, got some proof, and well, confronted him…"

* * *

"Papa just left for work again," Tsuna pouted into his bento. "He's never home for more than a week anymore and then he leaves again and it makes Kaa-san sad and she cries but tries to hide it and then I want to cry and Ietsugu-nii gets angry and yells."

In fact, Ietsugu was currently off sulking in the corner by himself and refused to join Tsuna for lunch, which he'd never done before. Tsuna sniffled a little, not noticing that his friends were panicking at the sight of his tears.

"Well, just- he's a monkey, then," Hana said decisively. "With monkeys, you have to tell them straight to their face exactly what you want from them. Their brains aren't big enough to hold much information. If you want your father to come home more often, then you have to tell him. But I suppose sometimes even monkeys have their reasons for their actions. He might actually have a good explanation."

Takeshi nodded frantically in agreement. "Hana-chan's right! Like if I want my Tou-san to play catch with me, I tell him. Even if I don't always finish my homework first…"

"What? You told me you would do your-"

"Ahaha, not recently, Hana-chan," Takeshi said in a placating tone. "You shouldn't get so worked up over these small things."

"Argh, see Tsuna, that right there is a monkey!" Hana yelled, pointing at a laughing Yamamoto. "Monkeys are stupid so you need to keep repeating yourself."

Tsuna nodded hesitantly in the face of Hana's anger. For a five year old, she could be remarkably intimidating.

"My Tou-chan and Kaa-chan aren't home a lot, but whenever I miss them, Onii-chan uses the telephone and I can talk to them!" Kyoko chimed in. "Then I don't feel as sad and Onii-chan takes me to the park and pushes me on the swings until I go up really high!"

Kyoko had a way of pushing away the gloom and making things feel brighter and happier. Their conversation soon switched to a passionate debate about whether swings were better than slides.

* * *

Tsuna was quietly thoughtful for the rest of the week. Sure, he was a bit mad at their father but maybe he had important adult business? Adults were always saying that kids would understand when they were older.

Besides, Tsuna had never actually asked his papa about his job. Yes, that was better than getting mad for no reason. Papa had given them a phone number that he said they could call at any time. He might not always be able to talk right away, but he'd call back as soon as possible.

Everyone deserved a second chance. (His favorite manga said so, so it must be true!)

* * *

"Haha, um, Papa works very hard at his construction job," Iemitsu stammered nervously over the phone. Torture he could handle. The Vindice he could keep his composure in front of. Bloodthirsty Mafioso he could easily stare down. But his family? Well, Iemitsu was only thankful that Nana never asked for clarification and simply accepted anything he said about his job. The twins had never seemed curious, at least, until now, so Iemitsu had never had to try and fail horribly to lie convincingly to his family.

"Really?" came Little Tsuna's excited response. "Wow! Papa is super cool! Do you construct robots? Tsu-kun would like a robot!"

"No, Tuna fishie, I construct-er," Iemitsu glanced over at Turmeric, who was frantically gesturing something at him. "I help construct houses for penguins!"

Behind him, Turmeric face palmed.

"Yes, penguins get cold, you know, living in the Antarctic," Iemitsu continued, on a roll now. "So my firm contacts people who know which penguins need homes and then we build them!"

"Can I be a penguin con-stun-con-struc-tioion worker too when I grow up?" Tsuna asked eagerly. He paused. "Wait, no, I don't wanna be a constunsun worker!"

"What? Wait, why?"

"Because that means that Tsu-kun would be gone from home for a long time and Kaa-san and Su-nii would become lonely because they would miss me and I would miss them lots, just like we all miss you, Papa!"

Well, ouch, Iemitsu thought dimly. He continued to let Tsuna chatter away for a while, responding on autopilot. There was nothing like an innocent child to push you face-first into a guilt trip.

Maybe he should visit home more often. Sure, there was always the risk that his enemies would find out about his family, but surely Nono would be willing to agree to extra safety precautions.

Iemitsu missed his lovely Nana, his grumpy little Ietsugu, and his adorable baby Tsuna.

"MY SON IS SO AMAZING! WAAAAAHH!" Iemitsu suddenly burst out, knocking over several stacks of diligently collated paperwork with his flailing.

Most of the CEDEF members within earshot easily ignored the outburst of their eccentric boss.

"Don't worry, Basil," Oregano said, patting the sandy-haired boy on the head. "You get used to it after a while."

* * *

Tsuna never had any idea why his father's absences from home became shorter after that. He was just happy that Papa came home at least once a year and called them every month, as well as their birthdays and holidays.

* * *

A few years later, Tsuna was in the middle of his monthly phone call with his father when he heard loud noises in the background. Come to think of it, his father was unusually distracted today. Usually he listened closely to Tsuna's chatter and interjected with embarrassing wails of how proud he was of his baby boy, only stopping when Tsuna threatened to hang up.

Today, though, Iemitsu sounded breathless and not once had he exclaimed loudly about how cute his son was.

"Tou-san, are you okay?" Tsuna asked, a bit worried. Something was niggling at him, a warmth itching in his stomach, telling him that his father was not alright.

"Of course, my dear little Tuna-fish! Your papa is strong and tough-_Oh fuck, two more men approaching! Lal, get ready to shoot. Oregano, how much longer? And get Basil the hell out of here!"_

"Papa? Papa!"

"Sorry, sorry," Iemitsu chuckled. "My co-workers are just – ah, very lively today!"

"Papa, what's that super loud sound in the background? It keeps making a booming noise. It kind of sounds like a gun," Tsuna asked nervously.

"My-uh- business rival broke my stereo! Yeah, it's making all kinds of weird noises, like gun sounds. You're not hearing real guns going off and shooting at us. Nope, not at all."

"Really?" Tsuna said, with as much skepticism as an eight year old could muster. "Because that sounds exactly like the guns I hear in movies."

"Well, movies aren't very truthful, then, are they?" Iemtisu muttered. He was more focused on getting a clear shot at one of the few remaining men and getting his people out safely. "Tsuna, son, I'm sorry but I have to cut this short. Papa will call you tomorrow, okay?"

"Alright, Papa," Tsuna sighed reluctantly. "But you better not forget!"

"Of course not, my adorable Tuna! Love you!"

"Love you too, Papa."

That was most definitely suspicious. Tsuna's stomach had been uncomfortably warm the entire time he'd been talking with his father, and he had learned not to ignore that feeling because it always led him in the right direction.

Making up his mind, Tsuna called out a quick goodbye to let his brother and mother know he was leaving, and headed towards the house of a certain red-haired genius.

* * *

"You want me to what?!" Irie Shouichi exclaimed. He whimpered and clutched his stomach.

"Please?" Tsuna asked beseechingly. "I don't know if my Tou-san's in trouble or not and I'm sure I heard something like gun shots and I'm super worried. I can't tell my Kaa-san because she'd cry and Ietsugu-nii's still mad at Papa right now. Pleeeease?"

Shouichi made the fatal mistake of glancing into Tsuna's eyes. No! He must resist the cuteness! No more!

Too. Cute! He caved.

"Fine, I'll help you," Shouchi agreed, resigned to the fact that Tsuna was hard to say no to. Not that there was much of a chance he'd refuse, anyway. Tsuna was the first person to treat him nicely and not make fun of his glasses or his hobbies. He'd even brought him into his circle of friends, who'd been very nice to him as well. It was a novel sensation, having people to talk to and laugh with. "What's the phone num-oof!"

Tsuna tumbled into his friend, hugging him tightly in thanks and in relief. Shouichi was the only one Tsuna knew who was smart enough to trace a phone number and use all kinds of brains to figure out very complicated stuff.

"Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou! I'll bake you three cakes! Wait, no, five cakes! You can pick the flavors, too!"

Shouichi flushed in pleasure, glad he could do something for his first friend.

And Tsuna's cakes were a perfectly valid reason to be tracing a phone number to its origin and possibly hacking into the most secure network he'd ever encountered, necessitating his online friend Spanner's help.

Yeah, those cakes were totally worth going to jail for.

* * *

The next morning, a sleep deprived Shouichi who looked more like a zombie stumbled his way to the front door of the Sawada household.

The front door swung open and out peered a face that was remarkably similar to Tsuna's.

"AAAAAAAHEEEEEE! TSUNA! TSUNA-NII! There's a zombie in front of our house! Help!" screeched the Tsuna lookalike. He slammed the door shut right in Shouichi's face.

Shouichi was running on sugar and diet coke and 48 hours of frantic hacking so he only felt vaguely offended at this rude greeting.

Tsuna came sprinting down the stairs, ready to protect his brother at all costs, only to relax when he saw who it was standing in front of the door.

"You're so silly, Ietsugu-nii! That's my friend, the genius I mentioned! Don't you remember?" Tsuna said, pulling Shouichi into the house.

"Oh. He looks like a zombie. Are you sure he's safe?" Ietsugu asked in a whisper, not so subtly stepping behind Tsuna just in case this really was a man-eating zombie they were letting into their house.

"Tsuna, I have the stuff," Shouichi interrupted. He waggled his eyebrows for effect, since he'd seen a TV show in which the spies did things like that to convey a hidden meaning. Unfortunately, he ended up looking even scarier and Ietsugu fainted from sheer terror.

* * *

"Hi Papa!" Tsuna greeted brightly. He had a large smile on his face but there was an edge it that made Iemitsu's Hyper Intuition perk up.

He fidgeted and gulped.

Two weeks after their odd phone conversation, Iemitsu announced he was coming home for a short visit. Nana was predictably estatic, Ietsugu was predictably scowling, and Tsuna was unpredictably subdued.

Iemitsu came home with a scruffed up face, plenty of visible bruises, and one arm in a sling. He'd laughed off all concerns and inquiries, simply saying that there was an accident at work.

But thanks to Shouichi's computer brilliance, Tsuna knew better. His Papa had gotten hurt because mean people had tried to hurt his friends and so he needed to beat them up with fire. And he belonged to something called the _Bonbola._ Shouchi-kun told him that this meant his Papa was most likely in the Mafia, which was supposed to be a _Bad_ thing. But then Shouchi had also gone on to say that the Mafia wasn't all bad and spouted off a long list of things that the Mafia had done for lots of people before reverting to his genius language that Tsuna couldn't follow at all.

He'd gotten the gist of it. Papa was a good man who did dangerous things to help people. But what to do with this information?

It was very fortunate for everyone that Tsuna was not your typical eight year old; Nana sometimes teased that Tsuna could be more mature than his parents combined, which wasn't too far off from the truth. Thus, it was a very mature, sensible Tsuna who had his hands on the proof of what his father really did for a living.

"Tou-san," Tsuna began carefully. He had to be careful with this conversation, so he'd made sure that Nana and Ietsugu were out of the house for most of the day before approaching his father. "We need to talk."

"Eh? About what, Tsu-kun? Oh I know! Do you have a crush?" Iemitsu began excitedly. "Who's the lucky girl? Or boy? Papa won't judge!" He gave an incredibly cheesy wink.

"No, Papa. We need to talk about your job in the Mafia."

"Sorry, Papa got something in his ears and couldn't hear what you were saying!"

"I know you work for the Mafia, Papa," Tsuna pouted, fed up with his father's half-hearted attempts at evading the truth.

There was a tension filled silence as Iemitsu processed what his eight-year old son was saying.

_Did Tsuna really say what I thought he said? Wait, he knows? Wait, he knows! Oh god, how does he know? Is there someone watching the house? Did someone approach my baby boy? What if it was someone from the Estraneo Famiglia? They're full of perverts and pedophiles and creepers! No one touches my family!_

The temperature rose and a shadow came over Iemitsu's face. Tsuna gulped and took a shaky step back. It was the first time he'd seen his father like this. It was the first time he was scared of him.

Iemitsu must have seen his son's terror, as the intimidating air receded and he approached his son cautiously.

"Tsuna," he said seriously. "It's okay. I'm just surprised that you would ask me something like that. Can you tell me why you think your Tou-san works for the Mafia?"

Was there a spy in Vongola? Iemitsu had purposely chosen to settle his family in Namimori, the town in which Giotto had retired and raised his family. Even now, everyone in the Mafia with half a brain knew that the town was completely off limits. Although that didn't stop the ones with less than half a brain from doing something stupid.

"I'm not stupid, Tou-san," Tsuna retorted, suddenly sounding tired and older than his years. "It's not hard to figure out. I already suspected, but it wasn't until I heard the gunshots that I decided to investigate."

He pulled out a few photos from his yellow Pikachu folder that showcased Iemitsu in Hyper Dying Will mode beating the shit out of the men from an opposing Famiglia.

"I asked a friend, who hacked into the system to get me proof. And no, I'm not telling you who."

Iemitsu gaped. Fuck. His eight year old had gotten past Vongola's hardest defenses! If it were anyone else, Iemitsu would be gibbering in terror and requesting to either recruit or kill this person. But this was his son! His favorite son, Iemitsu shamefully admitted to himself. At least, the only son who would talk to him without a glower or fanciful accusations.

(Let it be known that Iemitsu did not appreciate Ietsugu accusing him of cheating on Nana, and in front of her face, too! Luckily, Tsuna was _very_ good at damage control.)

"Please, Tou-san. I just want to know. You're gone all the time! And the last time I asked about your job, you said you were working with penguins in the North Pole! And then you sent us a very fake postcard with you wearing a hard hat next to a penguin," Tsuna said angrily.

"Kaa-san might be willing to accept it and Ietsugu-nii's too mad to hear it, but at least trust me! What if you get shot and none of us ever know? Please, Papa. Sometimes it's better to tell the truth even if it hurts now because the lies will always hurt more, no matter what.

"Please?"

Tsuna sniffled and brushed away a few tears.

If there was one thing that the formidable Young Lion of Vongola was weak against, it was his wife and sons.

There was no way Iemitsu could deny the truth from his adorable, precocious son now. He crumbled completely, scooping up his son into a tight hug, and promised to tell Tsuna what he could without endangering anyone's safety.

* * *

"Tou-san didn't tell me much," Tsuna continued, oblivious to Reborn's dropped jaw. "He just confirmed that he worked for the Mafia and protected people and that it was way too dangerous for me to know anything else. He dropped a few hints over the years, but I knew better than to ask.

"I tried to tell Ietsugu-nii, but obviously he didn't believe me. Hmm, it's not a very exciting story, honestly."

Reborn really, really wanted to bury his face in his hands, and only years of experience allowed him to retain his dignity.

"I see," Reborn said, outwardly calm. "Iemitsu never mentioned anything."

"Oh, I think he told Grandpa," Tsuna said before wilting a bit. "I, um, might have accidentally on purpose stolen Papa's cell phone and gotten Grandpa's phone number and called him a few days later to yell at him for Papa's injuries? But that was pretty rude, so I apologized right after!"

"Grandpa being?"

"Tou-san's boss, I think," Ietsugu answered, thinking back. "Yeah, the old man visited us for a few days with Tou-san when we were younger and Tsuna kept calling him "Nonno" so it just kind of stuck."

Reborn stared, brain barely able to comprehend what it was processing.

_Tsuna somehow figures out his father's true job and guilt trips him into admitting it. He also calls up the Vongola Nono, who he calls 'Grandpa', to yell at him._

_Either the future Decimo is utterly insane or he'll take over the world with cake and pouts._

Leon crawled out from under Reborn's fedora to lick his cheek, having sensed his partner's disquiet.

"Is-is that a chameleon?" Tsuna asked curiously.

"This is Leon," Reborn introduced, holding out the green reptile. He decided to firmly box up all the rather alarming information he'd discovered and shove it into a dusty corner of his mind, where it would keep company with all the other trauma-inducing knowledge he'd stumbled upon over the years. Like the fact that Verde paid someone once a month to give him a pedicure. Or that Xanxus still slept with the stuffed lion Timoteo had given him long ago. Or that Squalo forced Belphegor at sword point to brush his hair for him every night. Or that he'd once seen Lal draw hearts around Colonnello's name.

Tsuna gave Leon a cautious pat and then broke out into a grin when Leon licked his hand in greeting.

"No, you can't have one, Tsu-nii!" Ietsugu said sternly. "Stop! Not the pout! You're the one who made up the rule and forced me to force you to stick with it! Tsuna really wants a zoo," he added at Reborn's confused stare.

"We're getting off track," Reborn said. Really, it was supposed to be a simple, slightly traumatic introduction into the Mafia for the twins. How had it gone so out of control?

"As I was saying, the two of you are the heirs to the Vongola Famiglia. Believe me, Iemitsu fought long and hard against it, and the rules for successions when twins are involved…" Reborn trailed off. "They're incredibly complicated since the Deep Forest incident a few hundred years back."

"The Deep Forest incident?" Ietsugu repeated, as if he knew he was better off ignorant but too curious to hold back.

Reborn gave a dark, malicious grin, and Ietsugu squeaked, crawling behind his brother.

"The Deep Forest incident," Reborn lectured, somehow transforming into his Professor costume instantly, "refers to the bloody massacre of the entire Carapelli Famiglia. The last Boss of the Famiglia had twin sons, who were so similar in appearance and mannerisms that he could never tell them apart. Naturally, this caused quite a problem when he had to select the twin who would inherit.

"Power brings out the worst in everyone. When the twins found out that their father was considering handing over the Boss position to his right hand man instead, they began to plot. They started to differentiate between themselves, forcing their father to see that he had _two _sons. One of the twins was more successful than the other at getting their father's attention, which only intensified the growing resentment and competitiveness between the brothers.

"Each twin sought to win over Famiglia members to their side, causing internal strife and conflicting loyalties. Most of the Famiglia ended up split equally between the twins.

"Things escalated, and eventually, each brother decided to kill the half of the Famiglia that wasn't supporting them. They separately decided to lure the traitorous half of their members into the forest behind the Carapelli Mansion, where they would spring their lethal traps. They did this on the same day at the same time in the same location.

"They killed off their entire Famiglia, and now, there was nothing left for them to rule over. Enraged, they charged at each other, shoving a bloody dagger into their twin's heart. Before they took their last breaths, they looked into each other's eyes and apologized. They died together, arms wrapped around each other in eternal sorrow.

"Even today, the forest is still stained red with the blood of the Famiglia. No one dares enter the mansion, swearing that they hear someone crying in horrible anguish and pain."

"So scary," Ietsugu whimpered.

Tsuna stroked his brother's hair. "Don't worry, Su-nii. That would _never_ happen to us. Just how much of that is the truth, Reborn?"

Reborn wanted to pout. Really, this kid was ruining all his fun!

"Most of it has become an urban legend in the Mafia world, but the Carapelli twins did independently massacre the other half of their Famiglia at the exact same time, and then killed each other," Reborn admitted. "Most of the Famiglias were utterly horrified at the carnage. They banded together to convince the Vindice's _Guidice Collegiale_ to pass strict, complicated laws that would prevent twins from destroying their Famiglias in their struggle for power.

"It boils down to a lot of paperwork that Iemitsu had to fill out, declaring which twin would become the Boss. The Vindice enforces the twin succession rules to the letter, so the few times there have been twin heirs in consideration, the paperwork was quickly completed and turned in.

"Believe me, no one wants to defy the Vindice," Reborn said seriously, inwardly shuddering at the thought of those skeletal frames. "Or do more paperwork," he added, sotto voce.

"Wait, so we really are the heirs to-to-" Ietsugu turned to his brother for help.

"Um, Bongola?" Tsuna said uncertainly. "No, that sounds wrong. Bonlola? Bonboga? Bonnona? Banana?"

"It's _Vongola_," Reborn interrupted, his eye twitching. "And yes, the two of you are the only remaining viable heirs to the Famiglia."

He whipped out the family tree he had created just for this moment. It was written in English because Reborn was a cruel, sadistic man who enjoyed the suffering of others and knew that English was Tsuna's worst subject.

"See, that's your ancestor, Giotto," Reborn said, pointing to a scribble near the top. "He founded the Vongola Famiglia as a vigilante group to fight against injustice and to protect the innocent. He was later betrayed by one of his Guardians, and decided to immigrate to Japan, and adopted the name Sawada Ieyasu.

"His successor, Ricardo, was the one who transformed Vongola into a true Famiglia of the Mafia," Reborn continued. He motioned at another scribble next to the first one. "Ricardo was Giotto's cousin, although the exact relation is not clear. He was succeeded by his second son, who was succeeded by his only son, and so on. Until we get to Vongola Ottavo, Daniela. She was Vongola's first female Boss and Nono's mother.

"She is the reason why all decent men of the Mafia have a healthy fear and respect for women," Reborn paused and shuddered slightly in recollection at Ottavo's… rather creative methods. "Her son, Timoteo, became the Ninth boss, and he has four sons. Only one is still alive.

"Enrico was Timoteo's eldest son and the most qualified candidate for Decimo. He was found shot and killed in a gunfight.

"Massimo, the next in line to inherit, was found in the sea with cement blocks tied to his feet.

"Federico, the third, well, only his bones were ever recovered."

Reborn let a moment of silence elapse for the three men who would never get a chance to become anything more than they already were. True, he had never really known Timoteo's sons, but the pain in Nono's eyes would never go away.*

"The fourth son, Xanxus," and here, Reborn whipped out a picture of a terrifying man whose face was set into a snarl, with an odd glowing scar, "is adopted and does not have the blood needed to inherit.

"Which is where the two of you come in. As the direct blood descendants of Vongola Primo, you are the only remaining viable candidates for Vongola Decimo.

"Questions?"

Ietsugu was still staring at Xanxus' intimidating face, for some reason, but Tsuna was practically bursting with questions.

"If we're blood related to Primo, doesn't that mean Papa is as well? Why isn't he considered a candidate for Decimo? What are the Vindice? Why is blood needed to inherit the Famiglia? Is this just an old tradition or is there a necessity behind it? Who betrayed Primo? Why is Ricardo's distant relation to Giotto enough for him to inherit Vongola? How far apart do people need to be to be considered blood related? Is Grandpa an only child? Does he have any siblings who have children who could inheri-"

Reborn tuned out Tsuna's long stream of chatter. If there was one thing the boy had inherited from his father, it was the ability to talk and talk and talk.

"First of all, Iemitsu is the leader of CEDEF, which is Vongola's external advisory organization. In times of conflict, CEDEF has the power to step in. The rules set down by the Vongola and followed by the Vindice – the group that enforces the Mafia world's few laws – dictate that the CEDEF leader is under almost any circumstances barred from becoming the Boss, as that would give him or her too much power. Iemitsu is disqualified automatically from consideration.

"The Vindice are the enforcers of law in the Mafia World. They ensure that all Famiglias operate within reasonable bounds and are utterly ruthless to those who disobey.

"The reason why blood is needed to inherit is something I cannot reveal until one of you officially becomes the future Decimo. I can say that blood is necessary, and not just because of tradition. In fact, very few Famiglias adhere to that sort of succession now, choosing instead the most qualified candidate rather than the most closely related one.

"Primo was betrayed by his Mist Guardian, which I will explain later. The reasons are unknown, at least to me.

"Nono has no siblings. As for Secondo, I have no idea. Ask Nono."

Ietsugu had progressed from staring at Xanxus' picture to scowling at the window.

"So," Tsuna began uncertainly. "You're saying we have no choice. One of us must become a Mafia Boss?"

"That's correct."

"Um, no thanks!" Tsuna squeaked out. "The scary person in the picture looks way more like a Mafia boss than either one of us."

"You don't have a choice," Reborn repeated. "None of us have a choice. _Someone_ leaked out that there are still two potential candidates for the Vongola. Even if you refuse, enemy Famiglias will continue to send assassins in hopes of eliminating you. Only by accepting your position as Decimo will you have any sort of protection.

"If you refuse, then die, Vongola wouldn't even be able to avenge you because the Vindice would not allow it. If you accept and are then killed, the Vindice would probably help decimate the responsible Famiglias.

"If you refuse, I cannot help you."

"That doesn't make sense!" Ietsugu burst out suddenly. "Why would people want to kill us if we refused to become Mafia Bosses? You're just making stuff up-"

"Enough, Ietsugu," Tsuna said sharply.

Ietsugu shut his mouth abruptly. Tsuna had only ever once raised his voice in anger, and for a fluffy, adorable older brother, Tsuna was frightening in his rage.

"Reborn's correct," Tsuna said after a moment, already sounding calmer. "If people already know who we are, we'll never be safe unless we join the Vongola. Vongola can't protect us unless we are official members, because this Vindice group is powerful enough to disallow it.

"We need to protect ourselves and Kaa-san. Papa-"

"This is all that bastard's fault! He joined the Mafia and put us in this position-"

"Don't say that, Su-nii!" Tsuna retorted angrily. "Whether or not Papa joined the Mafia, we were always going to be potential heirs! Stop blam-"

"You always take his side!" Ietsugu snarled back. "What has he done for us? He threw us into this mess and he doesn't even have the decency to come home! Stop defending him!"

Ietsugu stormed out of Tsuna's room, slamming the door hard enough to rattle the windows.

Tsuna slumped into his bed and pulled the covers over his head.

"There's no way out, Reborn?" the muffled question drifted from under the blankets.

"No, Tsuna. There's no way out."

For a moment, Tsuna was just so angry at their father. He'd known that Iemitsu was in the Mafia for a while now, but now that he was face to face with the reality of it, Tsuna didn't know what to think. Papa had tried so hard to keep them safe and out of the Mafia, but it seemed it was always going to come for them regardless.

The anger drained away as quickly as it came. Anger wouldn't solve anything right now. Ietsugu had enough anger for the both of them and Tsuna needed to be calm and rational.

He needed information, and lots of it.

Tsuna threw back the covers to look at Reborn, who was still in the same position as when Ietsugu had stormed out.

He stared at him intensely and Reborn refused to fidget under the assessing gaze of a 13 year old boy.

"Will you help us?" Tsuna asked in a small voice. "Can I trust you?"

Really, this brat. Reborn stared back and finally gave a single, sharp nod.

"Okay," Tsuna murmured. "Okay. Reborn, this is obviously a lot for us to accept in one night. I'm going to find Ietsugu and calm him down. Meanwhile, can you give us information about the Mafia? I get the feeling that what we see in the news isn't exactly the Mafia you and Papa belong to."

"Of course."

"Thank you, Reborn," Tsuna said quietly, before he slipped out the door.

* * *

Tsuna rarely fought with his brother, and was miserable the few times they'd seriously argued. Ietsugu could sulk for days if he wanted to. Luckily, he didn't seem too mad, since Tsuna found him in his bedroom, the first place he looked.

Tsuna sank to the floor and rested against the closed door.

Ietsugu looked up and the noise and scowled.

"I'm still mad at you, Tsu-nii."

"I know."

"Just because I'm talking to you right now doesn't mean I forgive you."

"I know."

"You have to bake me ten cakes and do my homework for a month."

"Alright."

"Wait, really?"

"No," Tsuna snickered. "I'll bake _two _cakes for you and do your homework for three days."

"Four cakes and five days," Ietsugu wheedled.

"Nope, you're not even half as scary as Hibari-san to be able to convince me otherwise."

A comfortable silence descended, each twin lost in their own thoughts.

Now that Ietsugu had calmed down, he was unsure if this whole thing was just a hallucination he'd dreamt up.

"Tsu-nii?" Ietsugu slipped from his bed to curl around his twin on the carpet. "Is-is what the baby told us really true? Tou-san is in the Mafia and we're apparently the only heirs to a Mafia organization. It-It's just too ridiculous to believe!"

"Papa really is in the Mafia, but I don't think it's the kind of Mafia we see in the movies," Tsuna said. "We just don't have enough information. I asked Reborn to help us, and I was thinking about telling Shoichi, but I really don't want to get our friends involved in this kind of danger. But I don't think this is something we can escape…"

"You know, now that I think about it, the Mafia could be kinda cool," Ietsugu said. "As long as we don't do evil stuff like kill people, we could be rich and powerful."

"I-you know what, Su-nii, you can be the heir," Tsuna said with thinly veiled frustration. How did his brother suddenly go from freaking out to thinking the Mafia was cool?

"Really?" Ietsugu perked up. "But, well, you're the obvious choice!"

"Why?"

"Why? Because you're perfect and I'm, well, me! I shouldn't have to tell you these things!" Ietsugu spluttered.

"I don't want to be a Mafia Boss," Tsuna frowned. "And you're just as good as I am. Don't insult my brother like that!"

Truth be told, Tsuna was all too aware that his brother had little drive to improve in his academics. At the pace Ietsugu was going, he'd be lucky to get into a second-rate university. Sooner or later, if Ietsugu didn't shape up, there was going to be trouble.

Maybe becoming a Mafia boss wasn't that ludicrous an idea. Maybe if Ietsugu had something to fight for, he'd finally start using the potential that Tsuna knew was buried somewhere in his brother. Maybe if Ietsugu became a Mafia Boss, he wouldn't feel like Tsuna was always one step away from leaving him behind.

"Ietsugu," Tsuna said suddenly. "I think you should become the Mafia heir. You're just as good as me, or better, and you'll finally get a chance to prove it! Papa is a Mafioso, so he'd be able to help you too!"

Ietsugu turned to look at his brother in disbelief. Him, a Mafia Boss? Ha, if the Vongola wanted a clumsy, good for nothing lazy bum, then he'd be the perfect choice!

"Really," Tsuna was definitely warming up to the idea. "It'll be good for you!"

"What? Don't just decide these things for yourself, Tsu-nii!"

"I'm not," Tsuna countered. He was tired of having Ietsugu looked over or scorned. He was tired of having Ietsugu compared to the so-called _better brother._ If Ietsugu was someone important, no one could ever overlook him again. "I just think it's a good idea."

Ietsugu didn't want to admit it, but he was more receptive to the idea than his protests showed. True, they knew nothing of the Mafia and the mess that was going to be the rest of their lives, but for once, Ietsugu wanted to be the brother that everyone noticed and praised.

Tsuna really was the best brother ever to give him this opportunity.

* * *

_BOOM._

Tsuna dutifully ignored the noises and explosions and the rattling of his windows and focused on completing his English homework for Reborn's perusal.

The day after their tumultuous night, Reborn had woken up the twins before the sun had even come out.

Ice cold water really wasn't a pleasant wake-up call, and Tsuna vowed never to use the hose on his brother ever again.

Reborn had then forced them at gunpoint to jog five times around the neighborhood, all the while trash talking their pathetic attempts.

Quick showers – Ietsugu almost drowned but slipped and hit his head hard against the glass door, which woke him up – and a five minute period of relaxation, and then Reborn had dropped five large tomes onto their heads.

"Here's the information you requested last night," Reborn said. "Read it all before the end of the day. There'll be a quiz! And for every question you get wrong, I'll add one more lap to your evening training!"

The twins had then stumbled towards school half-dead and completely exhausted. The only bright spot of hope was that it was Friday, which meant that they could sleep in.

Reborn just laughed at their naïve hopes and woke them up even earlier.

By Sunday evening, Tsuna had grown slightly more accustomed to the physical exertion and had been herded off by a green Leon-sheep to go do his homework. Poor Ietsugu had been left to the tender mercies of Reborn's "Quick Shape-up For Lazy Bums" training regime.

The first time Tsuna had heard a loud explosion, he'd practically teleported to his brother's side.

"Su-nii?!" Tsuna cried out in panic at his brother's limp form. Ietsugu groaned, and opened an eye.

"Reborn's an evil monster, Tsu-nii," Ietsugu grunted out in exhaustion.

"We're just playing Dodge!~" Reborn smiled innocently. "Your brother needs to hone his reflexes and increase his nonexistent stamina. Now, Baka-Ietsugu, sleepy time's over!"

Ietsugu whimpered but somehow hefted himself up just in time to avoid another hard knock to his head.

"Pathetic, Baka-Sugu," Reborn scolded.

Tsuna blinked, unsure if what he was seeing with his eyes was actually reality. The brother he knew could never dodge projectiles with such grace! Wow, Reborn's tutoring really was effective.

So Tsuna had left his twin to Reborn's much more effective teaching, and tackled the large pile of English homework their Devil of a tutor had assigned to him.

* * *

Reborn surveyed his charges with a gimlet eye. Tsuna was slumped over in mental exhaustion, while Ietsugu resembled a limp noodle instead of a teenage boy.

There was a great deal of potential in the twins. Tsuna had, as expected, been rather impressive physically and psychologically and much harder to rattle than his twin. Ietsugu, to Reborn's surprise, had performed decently in the physical aspects of his training, but academically? Well, Reborn had never failed yet, and he would not let a stupid teenager ruin his perfect record.

Still, on the whole, Reborn was satisfied with their progress and perseverance. Ietsugu's heavy dependence on his brother was a bit troubling, though. Without Tsuna's encouragement or support, Ietsugu would have given up after the first lap around the neighborhood.

"You're both pathetic," Reborn began. Ietsugu twitched at the insult but Tsuna just slumped heavier onto his brother. "But not as pathetic as you could have been. That's good because it means you'll actually become decent Mafioso in the distant future.

"As the heirs to Vongola, however, you're not just pathetic. You're pathetic trash!"

* * *

Xanxus suddenly sneezed, accidentally pulling the trigger on his gun and shooting one of the interrogation victims in the knee.

"VOOOOI, shitty boss!" Squalo yelled. "Watch where you aim that fucking gun!"

Xanxus was too busy fending off Levi's slavish attempts to wipe his Boss's nose to respond.

* * *

"Trash?" Tsuna repeated uncertainly.

Reborn paused and almost face-palmed. Damn it, Xanxus was definitely rubbing off on him too much!

"Er, nevermind that. The point is that one of you will become the heir to the largest, most powerful Famiglias in the world. If you're going to succeed, you will need to improve. Which is why I'm no longer going to go easy on the two of you!

"In fact, the future Decimo will endure my _Triple X-treme Extra Hard Mafia Boss Trim and Slim_ training schedule!" Reborn suddenly transformed into Master Pao-Pao, the famous Thai boxing elder. "I give it ten thumbs up!"

The twins stared. Tsuna shook off the curiosity at how Reborn managed to get that little white tuft of hair to grow in his chin in favor of asking the question that he'd been burning to ask all weekend.

"So, which one of us is going to be the Vongola Boss?" Tsuna asked.

Reborn most adamantly refused to admit to himself that he'd totally forgotten to tell the twins.

"Oh, didn't I already tell you?"

"No!" the twins said in unison.

"In that case," Reborn once again switched costumes, this time, into a grey suit with a top hat and a microphone. "I am here to announce that the official Vongola heir is…"

Ietsugu jumped when drumrolls suddenly came out of nowhere.

Reborn pulled out his copy of the official paperwork that Iemitsu had been forced to complete.

"…as it says here on the official form…"

Reborn flipped to the last page.

"'I, Sawada Iemitsu, the leader of _La_ _Consulenza Esterna Della Famiglia_, do hereby declare, as representative of the Vongola Famiglia, that full and unanimous support will be provided to the next heir, named…"

Reborn paused and the drumrolls increased in intensity. The twins leaned forward in anticipation.

Reborn opened his mouth to announce the future Decimo, "Sawada…"

He looked down at the form to confirm the name and got the surprise of a lifetime.

"_Ietsugu_?!"

* * *

*So I know KHR was meant to be cracky, especially at the beginning, but the part where Reborn whips out pictures of Timoteo's sons corpses always struck me as in terrifyingly bad taste and quite insensitive and cruel. So yeah, omitted because this is my fic and I do what I want.

**Ending Notes:** Muahahaha! Is Ietsugu really going to be Decimo? What about Tsuna? Find out next time!


End file.
